A newly-minted acquaintance texted me that last week, and I agree with her. Walking home from my parents' this evening, the skies are gray, the sun is that shade of deep orange and low in the sky, it's rather cool and dry out, not so much so that you need a jacket, but it's getting close. It seems that summer was switched off exactly on Labor Day this year, and that's fine by me. I love summer, don't get me wrong - my birthday is deep in the heart of summer - but fall makes me yearn for days of my youth, when I didn't have as many responsibilities other than getting good grades and making sure I didn't forget my lunch. I got to see friends that I didn't during the summer, get back into learning all about the world around me. New challenges. Yeah, I was one of those who liked school. Wearing warmup jackets for soccer was pretty nice. It made me feel like I belonged to something.

I was at a friend's house over Labor Day, and his kids greeted me warmly. I asked my friend's oldest how she was doing in soccer, and asked her what position did she play? She then asked me how I knew about soccer, and I told her that her dad and I played together in high school. That seemed to amaze her. You could see the 'whoa!' forming on her lips. Kids are fun.

Fall usually evokes the feeling of peace within me. Some of the times I remember, where I have been the most contemplative, were in the fall. I like to be able to wear a light sweatshirt and be comfortable no matter what. I always romanticize that someday my girlfriend will want to cozy up to me while I'm in flannels or sweats, saying something like 'Oooh, you're so warm, hold me!' or something equally romantically corny. I remember reading one of those 'Choose Your Own Adventures' in the fall, with a D&D theme. I was playing it with a friend. Cool autumn days playing 'Flashlight tag' or 'Ghost in the Graveyard' on weekends. Kicking my way through thousands of fallen leaves in all their colors. Then having to rake them in the backyard. . We had this large basket with a rotating brush on the front end, obtained from my grandmother. My parents never wanted to use it, but I always did because if you went fast enough, you showered yourself with leaves as they shot them way up in the air. Fall to me, was like new beginnings. Even in college, new classes, new textbooks, choking on the fees that they charged for a small packet of notes! All the other students, backpacks over their shoulders, waiting at the bus stop, light jackets on against the wind, new people, new opportunities!

Most of them, squandered. I made friends, even tried to date some, but the dating never worked out. Friends, however, lasted to this day. Never got involved socially like others. Never partied. Never got drunk. Always watched from a distance, while people hooked up, broke up, then hooked up again, to different people. You could sit in the common areas and watch all this take place, like a book reading itself to you. Even in high school, people would break up, get back together, or move onto other people. It was to the point that I knew, in order, my best friends' girlfriends, since I had known them. I had the scorecard, but I was always AAA, waiting to be called up.

Yeah, see? Fall gets me contemplating. I'm trying to date now, thought I may have had a winner with someone who was pretty darn cute, and she even contacted me first on eHarmony, but she has yet to respond to my first email now that we're in Open Communication. It's been a week. I'm ready to toss this one onto the rather large pile of rejections that's in the corner of my closet. I went on a date last week with another woman, again from eHarmony. Things seemed to go well! Then why haven't I heard from her since then? More soul searching, more wondering, 'what is wrong with me?'

My friends and family say that there's nothing wrong with me. Some even go so far as to say I may be too picky, I should lower my standards, or that I only go for certain types. Yeah, I go for female, single, breathing, shorter than me, preferably younger than me, and in my perspective, at least cute. Maybe I should ditch the 'breathing' requirement?  

I coined a phrase today, on that note. I was watching TV with my sister and there was some comment that she had made about a character on the show, either being involved with old ladies or little kids. And I said, it sounds like he's a 'pre-necrophiliac pedophile'. She laughed, because it made sense to her. All of what I say makes sense, you just need to have as warped a sense of humor or logic as I do to see it.

So... I move on, like I always do. Wondering when I might find her, wondering if I already did find her, and squandered the opportunity. New beginnings.