Lately I have been in increasing deeper thought about my single status.

Why am I single?

What am I doing about it?

What should I be doing about it?

I have always heard the same rhetoric about being not single.

Be confident.

Girls like humor.

Be yourself.

I've come to the conclusion that I can be the second and third easily, though it throws people off. I am the type of guy who will open doors for women, young and old, ugly and pretty. I'll even open doors for guys, there's really no need to be picky about it. I tend to do things for friends that seems like it's 'above and beyond', and really it's not. It's just me thinking about how I want to go about it, and then following through. I am funny. I always make the people around me laugh whenever I get the chance. Whether it's dry humor, sarcastic humor, facial expression humor, situational humor, whatever, I do it. Except pratfalls, those hurt, or making fun of others. I poke fun at myself, that way noone else can do it. I would get made fun of all the time when I was younger. Now, I'm the only one who's allowed to do that.

But that first criteria, the universal statement of women worldwide - Be confident. What is that, really?

I've seen people who are cocky, ie: overconfident. I'd like to take them down a peg or 3. What makes them better than anyone else? Good looks? Lots of sexual conquest?

I've seen people who are shy and awkward. I'd like to lift them up so that they don't have to hide anymore.

You know, you are pretty cute, just step outside of your shell a little more. It really doesn't hurt.

And then there's those people who are 'confident', but really, they just don't care what others think. Is that really 'confidence'? Or is that a form of apathy that most find attractive? I've seen people who don't care what others think about them, and people all around them say, "Oh, he's so confident!" Or these same guys are the loudmouths, the braggarts, the guys who drink a lot at the bar and drape themselves over everyone's shoulders like they're all best friends returning from the war. I know everyone has seen the type. They're labeled as 'confident' too. I think they're annoying as hell.

No.... he just doesn't care what anyone thinks. What makes that 'confident'?

You become confident by learning a skill or performing a task or having knowledge that sets you slightly apart from others, and in having this extra bit of stuff, you know you can perform it or can speak to it easily, and it works, whatever it is.

I am confident in soccer.

I am confident in some video games. I am not a hardcore gamer. People who say, "I'll kick your ASS!" at a video game, I don't want to play. Not because they will probably kick my ass, but because I hate egos. That's not confidence, that's arrogance.

I am confident in parts of my field of engineering. I don't know all types of engineering, but I can speak at least to the ones I know.

I am confident in my friends. I know who will back me up and who is up-and-coming.

I am confident in most areas of high school math and lower. I'd need a refresher on calculus.

I am confident that I have the knowledge, or can at least locate it, for a good portion of problems that come my way.

I am confident that I know my feelings, I trust my instincts, and that my decisions are based on sound judgement at the time of decision.

I am confident that I can be impartial when needed, analytical when desired, and supportive when called upon.

Does this mean I am an expert in the above? No, but I'm happy with my level of expertise, and among my friends and colleagues, I am the 'expert', or at the least, the go-to guy.

But I care what people think, about me, about others, about the situation. So that makes me not confident, and therefore undesireable.

I have been thinking lately of tossing in my Nice Guy towel, it hasn't really got me anywhere. Women that I would like to date are still dating others, or getting married. The few times when I actually attracted someone have long since gone, and so have the women that those feelings were attached to. My time is up.

In 10 months time, when I turn 35, I will become a confirmed bachelor. I will not care to date anyone. I will have gone through the motions, tried every resource that I can say that I would be honest about, and have come up short. There is no need for me to continue to torture the women around me with my presence and actions. To some, this will be a silent sigh of relief. To others... well, they're married or dating anyway, so it won't matter. Only I am still thinking about them, they've moved on. I am thinking about doing a 180, and becoming not only no longer nice, but becoming a real player. One-night stands. Flirt until it hurts, then tease. Totally throw off the old shell, reinvent myself as the Parallel Universe version. Though I don't think I'd bare my hairy chest for the ladies and add lots of gold chain bling, there are some things that you just don't do. But I would not only not care about what others think, I wouldn't care about them, period. They're just toys. The latest flash-in-the-pan, the iPods and iPhones of the new age. Once they're usefulness is gone, move onto to the next big thing.

I bet the ironic thing is that, since I wouldn't care what other people will think anymore, especially women, I will suddenly become attractive. Though I doubt it, because I've also got a Second Strike against me - Average looks. *Dum dum daaa dummmmmmmmm!*

So... what is confidence as it pertains to dating?